Enough is enough dear reader.
Why is it men get to wander around loose limbed, footloose & fancy free? Yet us women teeter on heels, hauling a giant tote that’s got us hobbling all the way to the chiropractor?
Men swing their arms free & easy. Some credit cards & a key slid neatly into a pocket. Maybe a book bag or a laptop in tow; MAX.
What is it about female paraphernalia that means we on average lug around an extra 3kg in our handbags, slowing us down, slanting our shoulders & personally driving me mad! Is it the make up that so many social situations demand, the change of clothes & shoes, so we can release our toes after a day of shuffling our tootsies into the unnatural curve of a stiletto? Period stuff? Emergency-just-in-case stuff? Just plain ol’ female stuff.
Something has got to give. The stress on our bods is real, & beyond that it just feels so liberating walking around without carrying the equivalent of a small dog under your armpit.
Sure there are a lot of essentials in there that are really hard to do without BUT you will be amazed what you can lose when you delve into the depths & get rid of last weeks Tupperware. There will always be occasion for a big bag but of late, as much as possible, I’m going hands-free & adopting the humble bumbag. It just makes sense. Practical & dare I say it trendy. Last season every designer & his copycat had a so called belt bag (read: bumbag) on their catwalk.
There are just so many styles once you open your eyes to the selection. One for every occasion. I’m even wearing them on nights out. Too often my dance moves are disrupted by boob bashing handbags & the need to constantly monitor surreptitiously stashed clutches. These little Mary Poppins wonders can house a surprising amount & can even double as a belt providing oft needed cinch-ment. I am sold.
Now stay with me peeps, I might have gotten you on side for the bumbags, perhaps, maybe… but there is one colossal limb lumbering item that towers above them all… you know what I’m talking about… I’m taking this idea one step further & abandoning the classic umbrella! It’s annoying. I get actual arm ache holding my arm up perpendicular trying to center it above my head. Plus no matter how many times I try I just can not ride a bike (safely) with one. It’s just an archaic, un-ergonomic design. So you heard it here first people I’m opting for the UMBRELLA HAT going forward!
Who is with me people? Together we can make this acceptable attire. Revolution is nigh, I’ve already been on Alibaba enquiring about production of a chic black version. Type your orders in comments below!
