Ten years after accidentally starting a blog, a disturbingly competent man asked what I was doing with my life.
I panicked and told him I was writing a book.
The only problem was I wasn’t.
Author: jados360
Fun maximising, self-isolating extraordinaire, dating enthusiast.
Eat Pray Panic
I kinda tempted fate when I started the last post with “tomorrow might well feel different.” Shit, trying to be all poetic & whimsy, & now you’ve jinxed it haven’t you because I’m absolutely friggin’ fried right now. Everything’s going tits up & its all just too much. I want to get off (oooh not…
The Leap
Hey honeys, I’m home!!! This blog home, but also home home. HOOOOOME! That’s what life feels like in this moment; home! Perhaps only this moment though. It might not tomorrow. It didn’t yesterday after all. Mainly because I’m reluctantly strapped onto an emotional rollercoaster, one that I’ve been an unwilling passenger on for the past…
Date-a-mate
Now I have used many a hare-brained dating scheme in my time (just ask me about the matchmaker business cards) HOWEVER, I’m convinced this could well be my most promising yet… COLD. HARD. CASH. In an era of mandatory dating app misery, of which I can take no more, I am asking friends, family &…
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Thursday I came home from work after a few days away &, as a neighbour held the door to the communal hallway open for me, I saw much to my confusion that somehow my 2017 Tony Robbins Date with Destiny vision-board poster was lying on the floor of the reception area. Yep opened out wide…
Still not okay.
Following on from a recent post, & despite some light relief this week I continue to feel lower than I’ve ever been. Seems a tally chart doesn’t fix everything. I mean I didn’t have a shower yesterday soooo I guess that could be the culprit. Thought I could get away with having two today, didn’t…
Survival Strategy 1.0
Right you might have noticed I’ve been a bit angry. You might be too. I’ve genuinely questioned how to go on & function in this new reality but I’ve had my pity party, now we strategize. Since my white fragility got smashed to smithereens & I’m now wide awake to the world we actually inhabit,…
We are not okay.
I’m not okay. You are not okay. We are not okay. None of us are okay. This time in history is like no other & we are ALL affected in a myriad of ways. However one thing is for certain; if you haven’t been massively awoken by the Black Lives Matter Movement then you might…
Breakdown: Day 54 – 86
Hey. Its been awhile crocodile since I last posted. Things are pretty crazy right now. The world is up in arms protesting globally for racial equality whilst we watch a race war unfold in America as a brutal police force, backed by military, authorised by their despicable president Donald Trump, disperse peaceful protest, antagonize &…
I Can’t Breathe.
I am mindful that I am hardly your go to girl for current affairs or in fact anything of any sort of serious nature, however I am human & in this instance, that qualifies me enough. I am compelled to write after being massively affected by the diabolically inhumane, defenceless killing of George Floyd, a…
Mr. Living Room
Since lockdown first set in, I have been in self-isolation with precious little opportunity to rebound date or meet anyone new beyond the, even duller than usual, dating apps… “Hi, what you up to?” “Nothing, what you up to?” “Nothing.” Yep, lockdown is doing precisely jack shit for my withering love-life. Which is why when…
(Some) men are disgusting: Day 48-53
WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL THAT SOME READERS, MYSELF INCLUDED, MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. Day 48 of self isolation & it’s getting a bit old. Plus I’ve had an itchy ear (I know, what a weird symptom) for 3 or 4 days now & it kept me up most of the previous night. Somethings got…
Lockdown birthday 101: A How To Guide
Unbelievably, contrary to the pessimists, myself being the biggest one, I just had possibly the best birthday I’ve ever had. Yes THE BEST. This is obviously quite unexpected for several reasons; the ol’ global pandemic, consequential unemployment, awfully timed recent dumping & the biggie: I am self isolating, completely alone. So how did I do…
Binned date: Day 42-47
Despite posting a lot of late, I am still outrageously behind on this diary so rest assured I am hanging my unwashed head in shame. BUT the good news is I’ve been busy with good shiz, happy shiz, even PROUD shiz. It’s exciting so I’ll whizz through the practicalities of the week then I’ll hit…
What a difference half a day makes…
Wow. I posted that last article (A Smile a day…) only 9 hours ago, & I’ve already had a massive change of heart. PEOPLE ARE WONDERFUL! I posted it at 6am, went to bed, had a little nap (my sleeping habits are all over the place at the moment) & woke up a few hours…
A Smile a Day…
>>>>>> FOR A POSITIVITY UPDATE 9 HOURS LATER CLICK HERE<<<<<< Today was an unexpectedly emotional day. I know, call me crazy but I was not expecting the 75th anniversary of millions of people giving up their lives for our freedom to stir up any emotion… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The Captain Tom Moore montages, the veterans, the spitfires,…
Tedium: Day 37-41
The sun is ablaze once more & I tuck into some Tesco goodies on the balcony of dreams. My birthday has reawakened some long dormant junk food cravings so its pizza & rocky road for breakfast. I also might be comfort eating as a result of a heinous act the night before when I was…
Mr Virtuals: Day 35 – 36
Something weird has happened. I appear to be getting used to the situation. What is usually a big manic event has now turned banal as this weeks big shop fails to ignite hysteria. I am shocked & appalled. Whilst its nice to be mania free I do not want to become de-sensitized to the situation….
Comedown: Day 29-34
Quiteish week, still in the throes of birthday comedown. Probably didn’t mention it previously but it was my birthday last week! Honestly I loved it so much I’ve spent many a happy moment dwelling on it since & even created a Lockdown Birthday Guide 101 to aid & abet Taureans with upcoming celebrations. Whether hour…
Bday blues: Day 25 – 28
I wake up the next day to utter bedlam, as if someone has ransacked my home. I take a pic, turn around & go back to bed. The next few days are spent in major comedown mode. By Tuesday I finally summon the strength to reorganise my flat & reorder the birthday lettering to something…
Birthday girl: Day 24
I wake up on my birthday buzzing with excitement. I already knew the fridge was full of goodies so regardless of everything else it was going to be a good day. There were things in there I haven’t had for months so that’s exciting in itself. I get up & pour myself a mimosa &…
Mermaid sighting: Day 21 – 23
So after last weeks vlog I put the call out regards how I should spend my big 3?th birthday & I must say that peoples ideas got me revved the hell up. Nothing in particular just peoples general enthusiasm for birthdays. Plus what really put the gas on the fire was Tescos 5 for 4…
VLOG SPECIAL: Day 14-20
And just like that its been a whole week since I last updated this diary! WOW. Perhaps that old adage time flies when you are having fun needs a rework. Or maybe, just maybe I’m having fun over here; thinly veiled as out & out reach for your flamingo hat boredom…. Sooooo for your viewing…
A meme a day… : Day 13
Too many memes, too many many memes…. Right, I’ll be blowed I’ve only actually gone & had what at least felt like a productive day. I can’t be entirely sure of quality of output but words were indeed written, seemingly into sentences. Furthermore I observed the recognised minimum standards of hygiene by brushing teeth AND…
Garage girl: Day 10-12
Its unlikely anyone has noticed my absence this past weekend but if so please accept my apologies. I gave myself the day off only for it to become 2 without even noticing in all honesty. Days bear little resemblance to the norm & since upgrading my neck crick to pinched nerve status I’ve been sleeping…
T.E.S.C.O : Day 9
Supa dupa late with this post. Yesterday was manic. Quarantine manic mind not normal manic. Somehow I managed to make one small task last an entire day. Skills. Woke up pretty early after a horrible dream where I was locked out of school completely starkers which left me feeling quite disturbed on awakening. Probably something…
SOS : Day 8
Genuinely knackered. Have pretty much replaced all walking with dancing & am utterly spent. Going to bed early, meaning hopefully before midnight, to try adjust this damn jetlag overhang. Today in a series of bullets I cooked. Oh my giddy aunt. Finally! Did it as soon as I got up to get it out the…
Hola Barry: Day 7
Got up sub noon for first time today at 10.45 am & felt undeservedly like an absolute hero. C’mon Jadey!! So much so, I for some reason felt it desirable & indeed necessary, despite the minimum 3 week house-arrest, to attack all items on my to-do list simultaneously. At one point I had one call…
Sneaky date: Day 6
Funny walk last night. I managed to secure some much needed company by timing it to coincide with a guy I met on Tinder that lives locally, who walked me at a consistent 2 metre distance all the way to Sainsbury’s & back. Definite contender for one of the oddest date I’ve ever been on….
Cocoon: Day 5
Feeling genuine disgust with myself. I am able bodied, I am healthy & I have nothing but free time. Sure I am doing my bit by staying indoors & isolating but I am not actively helping. Today my friend Miriam posted an NHS job advert in a group chat for temporary admin services at Addenbrookes…
Tinder reunion : Day 4
Slow day. Got up marginally earlier but am still in my PJ’S so says it all really. Though it is Sunday so give me a break. Spoke to my Mum for Mothers Day & beat her in an assortment of online games whilst she drank some vino from the emergency supply pack I gifted her….
Dance party: Day 3
Meme of the day No in between. Accurate level 11. Luckily for me today was a good day. I still woke up horrendously late at 11.53am but I jumped into action because I had stuff to do & people to see (from a healthy distance.) First up I had to go pick up my new…
This is it: Day 2
WARNING: I’ve decided to document my time in isolation daily as far as poss, mainly to hold myself accountable & keep myself sane. Keeping tabs on stuff in a written format I find quite therapeutic but I must apologise because I imagine this is going to make for quite dull reading. But we shall see….
Lockdown diary: Day Uno
If this reads a bit strange it’s because I was writing it under an Instagram photo when I ran out of characters & had to continue here 😂 no idea if the emojis will translate either… #experimental Why am I not still here, lurking in some exotic foliage?! 🌿👀 Some questionable decision making by me…
Free Your Limbs
Enough is enough dear reader. Why is it men get to wander around loose limbed, footloose & fancy free? Yet us women teeter on heels, hauling a giant tote that’s got us hobbling all the way to the chiropractor? Men swing their arms free & easy. Some credit cards & a key slid neatly into…
Top 11 All time Reads. EVER.
Now this could well be subject to change going forward because I love a book me. I’m averaging one a fortnight a minimum currently, & even just now I remembered another must read last-minute & have had to adapt this post to a slightly unusual Top 11. But here right now, as I stand/sit/slump, here…
Dear St. Valentine…
I find myself single again this Valentines day but for the first time I won’t be pouring myself a large glass of self pity pinot. I am single firmly by choice. I ain’t even looking. Not really. I’m “on the apps” sure, but it’s gonna take a hella hunk to pin this sister down I’m…
Miami: The Definitive Guide (according to Jade)
Party in the city where the heat is on. All night on the beach till the break of dawn. I’m going to Miami, welcome to Miami… Whilst undoubtedly Miami never goes out of fashion I feel this year it is having somewhat of a renaissance as 3 of my good friends have booked, & in…
Vanderlyle, Cambridge Restaurant Review
After months of anticipation my reservation at vegetarian Vanderlyle finally came round last week & I took Mother dearest with me to enjoy their signature 5 course tasting menu. Vanderlyle opened its doors on Mill Road in Cambridge last year in April to rapturous reception. To the point where reservations are now required two months…
3. Cry me a River
After a tense 20 minutes, a lull ensues & my brimming bladder & I Usain Bolt it to the relative safety of the bathroom. I do the quickest of turnarounds my hangover allows, which is really not that fast, (mainly because it involves an unflushable gin poo) & before long I am on my merry…
2. F&F Forever
The next day I wake up in my Airbnb with a banging headache, paralysed with fear, unable to move. I had booked the cheapest room I could get my hands on, not wanting to impart any of my drunken emotional antics on any real friends. However, lying there between stained bed sheets, listening to loud,…
1. Fond Farewells
My notice period passes by slowly apart from one night on my way to dinner in Shoreditch when the roof of my convertible got stuck at a 45 degree angle, whilst attempting to make the most of some dwindling sunlight on the A40… & I had to drive 5mph all the way from Euston, with…
5. Grape Expectations.
I’m back in Spain, and it’s my sister’s 29th birthday. My sister goes by Woozy Boos, which is my mum’s doing. I was nicknamed Woody as a child, for no logical reason, and things escalated from there. Anyway. A 29th birthday apparently means only one thing in my goofy world: I must dress as a…
4. 24 hours in BCN
It takes until late afternoon for my disappointment about the love tryst, that never truly was, to dissipate. I had the very real feeling that Craig David would have made a great couple. The hangover however is a bit more stubborn to shift. After the obligatory lying groggily, staring at the ceiling for several hours…
3. Mrs. Craig David
I’m still working on my vegan empire; so I decided the best way for me to champion said plant-based plight was to purchase some outlandish fruit & veg themed ensembles & pose awkwardly along the Mallorcan coastline?! Look, I don’t know why. I had the vague notion, possibly due to absorbing one too many Instagram…
2. Where our story REALLY begins
Picture the scene. A rare night out in the West End of London for my friend Carrie and I, the tacky part of town we liked to think we had grown out of but still periodically revisited, documented, for prosperity, via an aggressive sequence of nightclub toilet selfies below. I needed to let my hair…
1. Where is He?
“Hi I’m Jade… 5’10 with heels, keen netballer, fun maximiser, holiday fiend & all round catch. Looking for a partner in crime to explore the globe with. Must like laughing & adventure. A passion for vegetables, a bonus.” That was me. Encapsulated in a dating app nutshell. The latest reincarnation of my profile that I…