If this reads a bit strange it’s because I was writing it under an Instagram photo when I ran out of characters & had to continue here 😂 no idea if the emojis will translate either… #experimental

Why am I not still here, lurking in some exotic foliage?! 🌿👀 Some questionable decision making by me lately, mainly spending an arm & a leg to travel back from South America to come back to no job & severe social distancing measures, which when you live by yourself (& rely heavily on eating out because you can’t cook) is HARSH 😳

However I know its important to be home & available to my family if they need me so I did not get on that flight to Brazil I was eyeing up today 😆 Instead I rang virgin media who are installing broadband in my home ASAP since I don’t currently have internet or television & I will be endeavouring to come up with fun, productive ways to spend my time at home instead. I know there are lots of people in this same situation & many worse off so if you are feeling lonely & are struggling do reach out because, cheesy but true, we are in this together. I’m thinking of hosting a daily IG live party we can all join in on & creating other inventive ways to stay connected so get in touch. It’s day 1 for me & I am already finding it difficult. The contrast of returning from the best holiday ever with isolation is STARK to say the least 😳

I like my own company more than most but the prospect of several months or more living like this is bewildering. I’ve already eaten all the fun emergency quarantine snacks I bought yesterday & either scrolled or slept through the rest of the day. Tomorrow I am going to aim for a healthier timetable & do some writing as I already feel a squillion times better writing all this down now. So thanks Instagram, I was just writing a caption but this has unintentionally turned into an essay & I’m grateful for it. Its actually reminding me how much I love connecting with lots of people & how I must do my utmost now to do just that.

For some reason I find platonic codependence uncomfortable so actively shy away from it even though @esma12 & @tamtamdisco do their best to turn me into a good pal 😂🙏🏽 I have always invested my time in romantic relationships but right now I have never been more single – like ZIP ZERO people! NADA. No potential, no nothing! I’ve actually experienced quite a lot of rejection these last few months & since my romance abroad last week didn’t pan(ama) out as I hoped (see what I did?!) this is another reason I guess I am really feeling it at the moment. I can’t bear to turn on the dating apps though. It just feels empty & desperate & I’m not interested in BS right now.

My friendship preference is interacting with lots of people on lots of levels, I love the idea of community & I would actually include talking to cashiers, & smiling at elderly people as two of my favourite activities 😝it’s true! A few months ago I tried to set up a Watsapp group with the people in my apartment building but only 2 out of 13 responded but maybe this is another opportunity to reach out. I’m going to get brainstorming anyway to find innovative ways to connect to as many as possible. I am lucky enough to be part of two amazing communities already; Rabble & CambridgeSpace who are both doing an amazing job online to keep morale up so I intend on getting more involved & creating my own online cheerleading squad for anyone who needs it.

Yay what clarity writing brings! Cheaper than a therapist with quicker results. Highly recommend it. Had no idea this is where this IG caption was going! See you tomorrow for fresh insights!!