Funny walk last night. I managed to secure some much needed company by timing it to coincide with a guy I met on Tinder that lives locally, who walked me at a consistent 2 metre distance all the way to Sainsbury’s & back. Definite contender for one of the oddest date I’ve ever been on. No romantic spark whatsoever, underlined by my willingness to discuss the more ridiculous aspects of my life which did see his jaw drop a little. When inquiring about my dating history I casually dropped in that my last date had been an all expenses paid trip to Panama*. He probably wished he’d suggested Waitrose.

Sainsbury’s did come up trumps though; loads of reduced fruit & as a real unexpected bonus I picked up a 16 pack of bog roll!! Say whaaaaaat?! Winner winner, <still eff all for dinner>… I could barely believe my luck. After bidding farewell to my chaperone, at the mini roundabout I walked nervously the rest of the way home, a further 15 minutes, clutching my treasured prize anxiously, recognising it’s 4 figure street value. A few cars slowed as they looked on slack jawed at my accomplishment so I quickened my pace & managed to make it back with my bounty intact. She’s now sitting on my dining table as a thing of beauty to be admired & appreciated (or potentially auctioned off at some point to provide a pension.) **

So today where do we begin… another late start in all honesty, & yes this has to stop but undoubtedly not tomorrow as its gone midnight & here I am scribing this so I’ll make it quick… Bit of an odd day. So odd I couldn’t even tell you what day of the week it is. But it was sunny which was bloody lovely & the rest is genuinely a bit of a blur. Don’t believe much was achieved but there were phone calls, music, video chats, several volunteer applications, some time spent face-planted on my super nice feely rug, minimal hygiene & I wore a swimsuit with UGGs for the majority. Food wise I again avoided cooking, & now it looks like the mushrooms are on the way out, so tomorrow truly is D-day for my chickpea curry. Instead I ate pistachios, pineapple & mango intermittently. Meal times are no longer a thing it seems. Mindset a bit doolally. Must do better. The end.

*Technically I did contribute to the flight. Minor detail but I don’t want him getting in trouble with his girlfriend. Yep, that happened. Post coming soon, don’t you worry.

**This is obviously a joke. I’m actually selling them at only a slight premium to my parents & their assorted friends derrr.

N.B Changed the name of this diary henceforth to reflect the latest government rules that are in place as of 23/3/20 referred to as Lockdown. Namely can only gather with your household. Only essential travel & movement which unless you are a key worker, is only to buy groceries or medication. Allowed to be outside for up to an hour a day for exercise purposes.