Genuinely knackered. Have pretty much replaced all walking with dancing & am utterly spent. Going to bed early, meaning hopefully before midnight, to try adjust this damn jetlag overhang.
Today in a series of bullets
- I cooked. Oh my giddy aunt. Finally! Did it as soon as I got up to get it out the way & made three huge pans of curry. (Haven’t washed up though admittedly)
- I danced A LOT on the balcony
- I forgot it was my Dads birthday. As did the rest of my family ( including him)
- Having not left the house for three days <aaaaahhhhh> I went for a fabulous run but ended up skipping the whole way cz it’s so bloody joyful & made lot of people smile so that was heart warming
- Came 4th again in the bloody online rabble pub quiz
- Stood outside for the 8pm applause for the NHS & it was really lovely to be as one together with everyone for a moment. Warmed me cockles it did. Massive love to everyone working their arses off to save the planet basically. So many superheroes we owe so much to xxxx
Right it’s nearly 1am & I cant sleep. Well not that I’ve really tried. Watched this Facebook video below & it’s given me the heebies & now despite coming into contact with absolutely no one I feel terrible about dancing around Cambridge & basically not giving a f*ck when people are dying.
I am guilty of being more flippant than most but I think we do all need to look closer at what is really happening. In the most affected part of Italy it’s aged 60 & over whose respirators are being turned off in favour of younger patients. 60! That is no age. We are only a couple of weeks behind them & I fear the worst. Government has no clue. We need to pressure them to focus on what is truly important. Our parents lives are at risk. Meanwhile it’s all economy economy economy.
Hard though because I don’t know where to channel these feels.
Have I done everything I can?
Yes & no. I’ve applied & volunteered for positions which should be coming through any time now inc blood donations & my name & phone number has been distributed on a flyer to everyone in my closest local neighbourhood BUT in my social media I am trivialising this situation to a degree by not highlighting the severity of it. Yes it’s good to take people’s minds of it & entertain which you like doing BUT need to find credible sources to share & make sure people are doing the most basic thing they can do right now which is staying at home. Videos of me jiving around town are not helpful. I feel silly.
It’s such a tightrope though. On one hand you are trying to stay sane, the other you try to engage with & attempt to understand the enormity of what is happening & you feel so overwhelmed & helpless you have little choice but to go back to sanity protection. Hard to know what you can do. Should we be fundraising for respirators? Lobbying? Swapping the self employment petition for one against genocide?
My parents will always be my number concern though & I have to deliver shopping tomorrow so sleep Jade that is genuinely the best thing you can do right now.
Love to all xxxxxxx
2am Just watched this. Now I’ll probably never sleep again fullstop.
