Supa dupa late with this post. Yesterday was manic. Quarantine manic mind not normal manic. Somehow I managed to make one small task last an entire day. Skills.

Woke up pretty early after a horrible dream where I was locked out of school completely starkers which left me feeling quite disturbed on awakening. Probably something to do with my regrettable late night twilight internet surf… YOU THINK?! (See day 8) Had a pain in my shoulder too which has now developed to medication required proportions. I do have a recurring issue with my shoulder but given the amount of time I have spent on my phone this past week I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a classic case of tech neck. Its really painful now & I need to source some ibuprofen asap. The ones I found in the cupboard expired April 2019 so a trip to the shop is required which is all the more reason to finish this, aka yesterdays, bloody blog. So here goes…

Ok so where was I…. oh yes up early… had my mum on video chat dictating a shopping list in detail regards brands & quantities for me to take to Tesco. Started to get ready; thought I would just put some concealer & mascara on to make myself more palatable for public consumption… my gosh before you know it I am practically dripping in the stuff. Funny how it gets out of control. Maybe its habit. Maybe its just all the pweeety colors… I don’t know but I was rocking a sunset eyelid with gold haze complete with no less than three different lip applications – lip liner, lipstick AND lip-gloss, all in the space of about 6 minutes. Suddenly my trackie bottoms made me look like a right chav so I just thought sod it, the world needs a bit of sparkle right now, lets have a rummage… & rummage I did. I found this belter of a skirt with serious mermaid vibes & off to Tesco I went.

It definitely elevated the experience. A lot of people do go out of their way to avoid eye contact with you though when you are looking a bit whacky, much like they did the previous day when I was skipping, I guess this is risk reducing learned behaviours or something (because I look so menacing.) Honestly some people are just scared to smile though I swear. I did get a few compliments too however, mostly from staff, & everyone was in great spirits despite all the social distancing measures. One defiant shelf stacker did get annoyed when several of us incidentally rampaged down the aisle at the same time, a little too close for comfort than she would have liked & she boomed out “if you want to continue to shop here, you need to keep people like me alive, so give me some space” which was melodramatic but def hammered home the point. I actually thought well done her for sticking her ground. We made up later when I shouted to her from afar for help regards the actual legal content of spam so thankfully I think I’m golden for future shopping trips.

Don’t know how long I was in there for but it felt like forever. Course I’d forgotten the list my mum & I had spent 30 minutes painstakingly detailing. Major doh moment when I opened my otherwise empty, gigantic bumbag to find it missing. What a wally. Consequently it wasn’t the most economical shop effort wise with me getting all of my 10k steps in, circumnavigating the whole shop around 3432 times whilst aiming to maintain 2 metre distance from everyone at all times, so guess that counted for my hour of exercise.

Next I did the drop to my parents who stayed behind not one but two sets of doors to stay away from me, then after some other special deliveries I went back to the crib.

Cause for celebration once I’d put my own shopping away & so to toast a successful shopping trip – I had gotten everything bar rice & sundried tomatoes – I cheersed myself with my signature cordial & got down to a hispanic inspired danceathon on the balcony as the sun went down. Was good fun despite my solitary status & I actually got a stitch I went so hard. Ricky Martin has that effect.

Then I uncharacteristically proceeded to binge watch 5 out of 7 episodes of Tiger King on Netflix which is just absolutely nuttier than anything I, or anyone, could ever conceive of. Its just bizarre in so many, weird ways, punctuated with the oddest of pop songs with accompanying videos, I don’t even know where or if I should begin. I stared open mouthed for much of it until bedtime.

So those are the basics of my day, not much room for lamenting happily as I had put myself into a bit of a head spin the prior night. At the end of the day you can only focus on what you can control & so I have no option other than to return to my default semi stoic self. I would like to be Penelope Cruz & donate 20,000 surgical masks however it is beyond my means currently so I shall continue to do what I can. Though it does make you wonder… look what Greta Thunberg has achieved at her tender years, maybe I AM capable of much more… but then I return to Malcolm Gladwells brilliant book Outliers that investigates the main other hidden variables that precede success & I remind myself that I, an out of work, size 12 fittings model from The Fens is perhaps not best placed to save the world on this occasion so just stay home & take your own advice – stay sane-itized xxxx