Quiteish week, still in the throes of birthday comedown. Probably didn’t mention it previously but it was my birthday last week! Honestly I loved it so much I’ve spent many a happy moment dwelling on it since & even created a Lockdown Birthday Guide 101 to aid & abet Taureans with upcoming celebrations. Whether hour long birthday ASBO winning exercise become the latest trend since happy slapping remains to be seen however. Click here to read (& share – go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on – Father Ted Mrs Doyle style).
Weather continues to be amazing & I’ve enjoyed some nice, melancholy walks & forged closer relations with my pals the cows. It’s funny; there does appear to be a pattern emerging. One week fuelled by the big shopping trip & submersion into crazytown brings on a week of manic behaviours followed by a gradual chilling out & week of more reflective tranquility & some limited productivity. Then it’s time for t’big shop again & the cycle repeats. It’s interesting. Something about going to supermarkets does send me into a spin it seems.
To further support that, I had a quiet weekend of face masks & a very uncharacteristic binge watch of Netflix’s new reality series Too hot to handle. Mainly because the cast being hot, horny & locked up in a resort without being able to act on their desires I feel like I am in a very similar situation so thought it might provide some relief & it did in the form of diversion. This is only the second show I have watched during lockdown, the last one being a binge of famed Tiger King & I am such an extreme personality I had to watch this whole series in one sitting too because I didn’t want it to interfere in any of my other days. Pretty ridic behaviour. Was up until 7am watching it of course so it undoubtedly impacted many a following day. Doh! Still it was fun to splurge like that because I rarely do & to compound it I ate really weird foods & felt proper lazy & gluttonous. I was craving the peanut butter I had in the cupboard but with nothing to smear it on, & no other savouries available, I ate it plastered on some Tesco own brand olives & chased it up with an entire Happy Shopper Swiss roll left over from my birthday’s ‘Guess the Shit Gift’ game. Was a disgusting, needlessly over indulgent eve but I felt like lockdown demanded it of me & curiously I feel better for it.
Another reason that may have contributed to this was feeling sorry for myself & even a little guilty since….. confession time…. I’m back on the dating apps. I COULDN’T HELP IT OKAY! Chatting to my recently reconnected childhood sweetheart & overwhelming him to such an almighty degree with my medically required banter needs I’ve hospitalised him, tbf I’m pretty sure I had nothing to do with him eating that dodgy ham with the residue, but either way I’ve got to give the poor lad some space. So I joined two dating apps that are both new to me which creates some novelty & critically there’s no real incentive to swiping as I am not a paying member so don’t actually get messages & have little desire to do so. One is actually £400 a week unbelievably. The League it’s called – look it up, or if you are a tall, dark, handsome male with that kind of money to burn just call me direct.
The big pull however is both apps set up video speed dating sessions a few times a week which I think will quite frankly be hilarious, though it already disappointed on Sunday when I applied makeup & got dressed up (on the top half only, mama didn’t raise no fool) only for the app to not work. Bit of an anti climax but I did pull it back by instead getting on a call with none other than Pushkin the Cat, a social influencer with over 10k followers on insta so all was not lost.
In other news the volunteering has been literally popping off. Had my first NHS siren alert properly stop me in my tracks in panic & disbelief as I nearly shat my pants at the ear infiltrating sound filling my flat before finally being compos mentis enough to accept the mysterious call. No issue though it was a nice & gentle intro with a prescription pick up so that was easy enough plus with more food runs for neighbours & scrub hubbing deliveries I’ve been quite busy. I did marginally better this week with the scrubs thankfully & only had to revisit two houses twice which is a decent improvement on previous form & today no mistakes at all!! Hooray!
To celebrate I’m going to get the supermarket hysteria going a little earlier this fortnight with some mayhem on the balc of dreams… You are welcome.
Standby for mad week.
