Ten years after accidentally starting a blog, a disturbingly competent man asked what I was doing with my life.
I panicked and told him I was writing a book.
The only problem was I wasn’t.
Tag: writing
Eat Pray Panic
I kinda tempted fate when I started the last post with “tomorrow might well feel different.” Shit, trying to be all poetic & whimsy, & now you’ve jinxed it haven’t you because I’m absolutely friggin’ fried right now. Everything’s going tits up & its all just too much. I want to get off (oooh not…
3. Cry me a River
After a tense 20 minutes, a lull ensues & my brimming bladder & I Usain Bolt it to the relative safety of the bathroom. I do the quickest of turnarounds my hangover allows, which is really not that fast, (mainly because it involves an unflushable gin poo) & before long I am on my merry…
2. F&F Forever
The next day I wake up in my Airbnb with a banging headache, paralysed with fear, unable to move. I had booked the cheapest room I could get my hands on, not wanting to impart any of my drunken emotional antics on any real friends. However, lying there between stained bed sheets, listening to loud,…
5. Grape Expectations.
I’m back in Spain, and it’s my sister’s 29th birthday. My sister goes by Woozy Boos, which is my mum’s doing. I was nicknamed Woody as a child, for no logical reason, and things escalated from there. Anyway. A 29th birthday apparently means only one thing in my goofy world: I must dress as a…
4. 24 hours in BCN
It takes until late afternoon for my disappointment about the love tryst, that never truly was, to dissipate. I had the very real feeling that Craig David would have made a great couple. The hangover however is a bit more stubborn to shift. After the obligatory lying groggily, staring at the ceiling for several hours…
3. Mrs. Craig David
I’m still working on my vegan empire; so I decided the best way for me to champion said plant-based plight was to purchase some outlandish fruit & veg themed ensembles & pose awkwardly along the Mallorcan coastline?! Look, I don’t know why. I had the vague notion, possibly due to absorbing one too many Instagram…